ARKY’S COMPUTER LINGO

  1.  LOG ON:  Makin a wood stove hotter.

  2.  LOG OFF:  Don't add no more wood.

  3.  MONITOR:  Keepin an eye on the wood stove.

  4.  DOWNLOAD:  Gettin the farwood off the truk.

  5.  MEGA HERTZ:  When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.  

  6.  FLOPPY DISC:  Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.  

  7.  RAM:  That thar thing whut splits the farwood.

  8.  HARD DRIVE:  Gettin home in the winter time.  

  9.  PROMPT:  Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.  

10. WINDOWS:  Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.  

11. SCREEN:  Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.  

12. BYTE:  Whut them dang flys do.  

13. CHIP:  Munchies fer the TV.  

14. MICRO CHIP:  Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.  

15. MODEM:  Whut cha did to the hay fields.  

16. DOT MATRIX:  Old Dan Matrix's wife.  

17. LAP TOP:  Whar the kitty sleeps.  

18. KEYBOARD:  Whar ya hang the dang keys.  

19. SOFTWARE:  Them dang plastic forks and knifs.  

20. MOUSE:  Whut eats the grain in the barn.  

21. MAINFRAME:  Holds up the barn roof.  

22. PORT:  Fancy Flatlander wine

23. ENTER:  Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"  

24. RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY:  Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.  

25. MOUSE PAD:  That hippie talk fer the rat hole.