ARKY’S MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY

ANTIBODY - against everyone

ARTERY - the study of fine paintings

BARIUM - what you do when CPR fails

BENIGN - what you be after you be eight

BOTULISM - tendency to make mistakes

CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of poker playing

CAT SCAN - searching for ones lost kitty

CAUTERIZE- made eye contact with her

COLIC - a sheep dog

COMA - a punctuation mark

CONGENITAL - friendly

CORTIZONE - the local courthouse

D & C - where Washington is

DILATE - to live longer

ENEMA - not a friend

ENTERITIS - a penchant for burglary

ER - the things on your head that you hear with

FESTER - quicker

FIBRILLATE - to tell lies

G.I. SERIES - baseball games between teams of soldiers

GENES - blue denim slacks

GENITAL - non- Jewish

GRIPPE - what you do to a suitcase

HANGNAIL - a coat hook

HEMORRHOID - a male from outer space

HERPES - what women do in the Ladies Room

HORMONES - what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid

ICU - peek- a- boo

IMPOTENT - distinguished, well known

INPATIENT - tired of waiting

LABOR PAIN - hurt at work

MEDICAL STAFF - a doctor's cane

MINOR OPERATION - somebody else's

MORBID - a higher offer

NITRATE - lower than day rate

NODE - was aware of

OUTPATIENT - a person who has fainted

PARALYZE - two far-fetched stories

PATHOLOGICAL - a reasonable way to go

PHARMACIST - person who makes a living dealing in agriculture

POST- OPERATIVE - a letter carrier

PROTEIN - in favor of young people

RECOVERY ROOM - place to upholster furniture

RECTUM - what happened to the Corvette

RED BLOOD COUNT - Dracula

RHEUMATIC - amorous

SALINE - where you go on your boyfriend's boat

SECRETION - hiding anything

SEROLOGY - study of English knighthood

TABLET - a small table

TERMINAL ILLNESS - getting sick at the airport

TIBIA - country in North Africa

TRIPLE BYPASS - better than a quarterback sneak

TUMOR - an extra pair

URINE - opposite of "you're out"

VARICOSE - very close

VEIN - conceited